The proposal

From the moment I started thinking about proposing to Karin I knew exactly where and how I was going to do it. Once I decided to propose, it took me quite a long time to execute my plan because suddenly it seemed impossible to find the right ring. Eventually, after visiting many stores and deceiving my future wife for longer than enough I decided that the ring I'm looking for does not exist, bought the diamond I wanted and went to a jewelry designer to create the ring I had in my mind.

I proposed to Karin on a mountain top in the middle of the Negev desert. As mentioned before, I chose the location a long time ago but miraculously, the date was also perfect. There are plenty of symbols in the date, the location and the manner of the proposal so I'll describe them all shortly:

Geographically - I proposed on a hike to a mountain because that's how we originally met. I proposed in the Israeli desert because it's a place we both admire.

Historically - The mountain I chose is called "Har He'Chalak". It's mentioned in the bible (Joshua XI and XII) as a point on the border of biblical Israel. Consequently, throughout history it held importance regarding laws that take place only in Israel. For an example, even today it's forbidden for religious Jews in Israel to cultivate their land every 7th year (Shnat Shmita). However, beyond that ancient border there's no such prohibition and thus farmers who live in the Arava enjoy exclusive privilege in the market every 7th year. In my proposal I described that significance of the location and offered Karin to "cross" the ancient historical and cultural border together with me and enter Israel as an engaged couple.

Calendrical - I didn't plan that but the proposal hike was on the Jewish holiday of 'Shavuot'. That holiday hold 2 very significant meanings that relate directly to us and our relationship. In 'Shavuot' religious Jewish people celebrate receiving the 'Torah'. Beside being a part of the bible, 'Torah' also means a set of laws and normative rules. The people of Israel, who fled Egypt, were a nation of former slaves, who needed the burden a new frame of laws and restrictions. A marriage is also a new set of laws and restrictions. Purely accidentally, the 'Torah' was received on Mt. Sinai (Hor Ha'Har) which is today believed to be Mt. Zin. Mt. Zin is clearly visible from Mt. 'HeChalak'. Moreover, in 'Shavuot' religious Jews read the scroll of Ruth. The story of Ruth is a story of a non-Jewish girl who ended up marrying a Jewish man (need I state the obvious relation). By the way, the great grandson of Ruth and Boaz was king David .. I wonder..

When proposing, I tried to unfold the elaborate set of symbols before stating my actual intention (I even read out loud from the book of Joshua). I knew that at the moment I mention the engagement Karin will reboot herself and completely forget all that I've said. Naturally, when I finally revealed my intention behind what seemed to be a lecture about religious customs and historical events Karin completely forgot all that I've said. Hopefully, this blogpost will also serve as a reminder of things, rightfully discarded as clatter in the shadow of a marriage proposal.

How did it all start

We met in a village called Sa-Pa, the travelers absolute must in northwest VietNam. Just an overnight train from HaNoi, Sa-Pa is the most 'tourist suitable' village in the mountainous, jungle covered region close to the borders of VietNam, China and Laos.

I went there because I wanted to climb FanSiPan, the highest peak in IndoChina and I met Karin at an Internet cafe/tourist office. We toured the village together and had dinner and despite my overgrown beard (and other idiosyncrasies) Karin gave me her Email and I promised to write and try to meet along the way. The next day Karin left and headed back to HaNoi and further south along the Vietnamese coast and I went for the 3 days hike to the mountain's top and back.

Having an inner conflict about answering an Email from a guy whom she vaguely remembered was a weird looking and rather talkative Israeli, Karin decided to give it a shot and we met again. This time it was in a small town called Hoi An in the middle of the eastern coastline of VietNam.

Hoi An is a charming place. It used to be an important harbour town for centuries so there are many noticeable gastronomic, cultural and architectural influences for tourists to enjoy. Plus, there's a very big and popular clothing market, in which one can order specially made tailored outfits of good quality for ridiculously low prices. For the latter reason Karin lingered there long enough for me to be able to catch up.

We stayed together for the rest of my trip. We continued to southern VietNam and through Cambodia to Thailand. In the beginning of my vacation in southeast Asia I made a rule for myself to be as straightforward and open as possible (those who know me are probably laughing now ..). After almost a month and a half of being pretty much together all the time I realized not only that Karin tolerates my geekiness and Monty Python/Austin Powers sense of humor, we also enjoy each other's company and appreciate each other's opinions.

Gradually, I began to understand that this girl was a rare find. The emotional changes, however, were more elusive and took their own pace. Only when we parted in Bangkok I finally grasped that Karin is indeed a very special girl and that she's special for ME.

I stumbled into a cab to the airport and had a very long and pensive flight to Israel. Karin, on the other hand, continued her journey to New Zealand and Australia for another month. We stayed in touch through Emails (mine all sappy, Karin's somewhat sarcastic) and when Karin returned to Sweden we started video chatting almost daily.

Nurturing a relationship via the Internet alone is obviously not enough so we decided to visit each other and learn more about our lives. First, I flew to Sweden for a very cold new year's eve. For a middle-eastern guy as myself, Stockholm in mid winter was quite a shock. Needless to say, we spent most of our time indoors (after only seeing each other through a web cam we had no other plans anyway). A month later, Karin came to visit me in Israel. I tried to show her the amazing diversity of landscapes and people that Israel can offer (in a rather small area) and took her to see the European-like mountains of the north and the magnificent desert landscapes of the south (both are just 2 hours from the center).

After Karin left Israel I missed her so much that not even a month later I returned to Sweden with my mind set on taking our relationship to a new level. And indeed, at the end of that visit we decided to move in together and live in Tel Aviv, Israel.

In May 2006 we embarked on that new phase of our lives together.

Only a week left

Less than a week and we will be husband and wife (I guess, unless one of us freak out and run away...). A couple of days ago me and my mum checked out the place for the wedding. So beautiful. Especially if it doesn't rain.. That hasn't happened a lot in Sweden this summer. That it doesn't rain I mean.

When it doesn't rain Stockholm can be wonderful. To-die-for-beautiful. Made for sitting by the water and sip some wine. Or swim. If you have a wetsuit that is. Or you are Swedish, we're used to it.

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Checking settings. Have some patience, we haven't even become husband and wife yet!!